Children are born as emotional creatures.

Their inherent ability to attach emotionally is natural and life preserving for them. However for some children who are born into families where drug and alcohol, or other safety related issues are present, the children can be removed to a ‘safer environment’ (separated from their parents) or they may struggle to gain and maintain emotional attachment with parents who have learned to suppress emotionally.

The only way out of emotional discomfort or emotional distress for such children when they do not have strong, supportive and reliable parents, is for them to learn to suppress emotionally, to focus on other things by becoming more physically active, more mentally active, or simply shutting down all together into a space of depression and delusion or make believe! 

This is the cause of great mental/emotional strain for children which in turn transfers back to the parents.

Children who have learned to suppress their emotion are not able to trust others because that which trusts (love) is an emotion and becomes suppressed too.

The only way to tease this trust back out is to hold the child in a space of unconditional love, creating a firm and secure foundation.

When responding to a child who has symptoms of emotional suppression such as constant business, agitation, inability to be still for any length of time, broken and disrupted sleep, frequent outbursts of aggression, lying, stealing or non-communication, one needs to ask oneself several easy questions.

Firstly, “Do I want the problem or the solution?” And we all want the solution, right?

Then the next question is, “What would love do now,” or “How would love respond to this?” 

Then wait for a loving answer to surface, otherwise your ego will suppress your emotion and further demonstrate and reinforce emotional suppression to the child.

The answers to these questions will be as wide and varied as the problems themselves, but the best answers will always have a common denominator of loving essence at their core!

Children will be expressing their emotion in many ways, even if it is suppressed to a deep unconscious level it will still come out in their interactions and communications in some form. Be observant and watch out for it, observe their interaction with others and in their playing, asking yourself, ‘What is their call for help here?”

So then how does a parent get their children to open up and what can a mother or father do to try to figure out what’s wrong?

Encouraging the child to express creatively is always a great window to their soul and it is the soul that expresses emotionally. Working with colour pencils, paints, crayons, plasticine, clay, food, toys and sand trays are great ways for children to express their innermost creativity. 

Creating a collage of images and words on a poster that represent love, calmness, fun, play and joy and hanging it on a wall can serve as a great resource in stressful times.

Role playing with the children and encouraging them to express their thoughts, their actions, and their feelings in any given situation, and then validating that expression with praise and rewards, followed with loving emotional correction when needed is always a wise path to follow.

Expressing to the child what it is that you want to see, what behaviour you would love and enjoy, what to do to correct any difficult situation will always yield the best long term results with children and teach them to express their emotional needs in a trusting environment. Expressing what you do not want to see and the behaviour you do not want will on the other hand teach the child to suppress using the tools of frustration and anger.

How is your child developing on an emotional level?

How do they measure up in regard to being open, trusting, and unconditionally loving?

Contact Me and find out!