How Long Will it Take to Develop New Habits and Implement Them?

We have only two choices – love or fear. Which ever of these choices we use the most each day/night will become reflex and automatic. If we have been forced into a situation of fear where we have had no choice but to shut down and avoid the situation mentally, physically or both, and had no one to turn to for love, support and reassurance, then we set the development of a fearful reflex in place.

This reflex develops quickly because the reward is great when we can shut off painful thoughts and memories, and with them go the painful feelings.

The cost is also great, however, because when we shut off our feelings we shut off the good ones too. To shut off these feelings is to depress, shut off your energy supply, resulting in discomfort, dis-ease, and eventually exhaustion!

The process that needs to be learnt to replace this reflex when it becomes embedded in our psyche, is the opposite of what we had to choose. The preferred process is to connect to your true energy, hold that connection and respond from this space of great wisdom within you.

Here is the process to bring change:

♥ Notice the disconnection when it occurs, dead giveaways are feelings of discomfort, annoyance, defiance, anger, rage, or shutdown, numbing out, loosing focus, confusion.

♥ Be aware that this choice has occurred from an unconscious automatic habit and that you have the power to change that.

♥ Put that change that you want to create into motion – what can you do right now to bring feelings of comfort to yourself, what can you focus on that will engage feelings of love and empowerment? (write a list or create a collage right now).

♥ Focus on your connection skills until connection occurs – allow yourself the gift of time.

♥ Respond from your new found space of love and connection to bring constructive change.

♥ Reward yourself with a big self hug for achieving your goal of inner connection and being able to respond from that.

This process, when implemented well, brings great results, and great results bring great rewards.

Say to yourself, “Thank you for the opportunity to practice my new habit.” Great rewards strengthen new choices and help make them automatic over time, automatic means “reflex.” Reflex inner connection means immediate and great inner joy, happiness, empowerment and achievement, regardless of what is happening around you!

Like learning a new job, or how to drive a car, give yourself a licence to practice, and the allowance to make mistakes. Engage a teacher for occasional lessons to help learn the correct way and become familiar with the rules and skills of negotiating relationship journeys. Accept that you will have “L” Plates (Learner Plates) for a while, and that when you have passed assessment you will have “P” Plates, (Provisional Licence) for a further 12 months! It is a great idea to avoid using drugs or alcohol while negotiation these training periods because they cloud your judgement and your ability to make wise choices!

We expect it all to just magically work out straight away, simply because two people feel a love connection between them.

New habits, and new programs, will take time to lock in. But the great news is that you can get your “L” plates here, and receive all the driving lessons, rule books, and information you need to make you the very best at driving your relationships. 

It doesn’t mean you will never have an accident, but it will mean that the accidents are less likely to be caused by your actions and that the damage created will be minimized and easier to repair. You will develop a safe relationship driving proficiency that is courteous, skilled at hitting the brakes and deciding the best and most comfortable route to take!

Happy Driving! Enjoy the practice and take time to absorb the scenery as you go!