Lack of appreciation, lack of gratitude, lack of acceptance, distancing and judgment soon follow.

This is a great opportunity to practice relationship repair, and one great strategy for repairing relationships is the generation of caring moments for the expression of love.

This is a great way of generating loving moments – create and use Relationships Jars!

Here is how it works:

Take 2 large glass jars (a shoe box, or a large tin will also work fine).

♥ Each partner then decorates their glass jar with images or stickers of their most favourite things.

♥ Place the jars together in a prominent position where you will both see them often (on a bedroom table, a lounge room cabinet, or next to the TV etc.)

♥ Each partner then imagines what caring actions they would like to receive from their partner and writes or draws this request for caring action on a piece of paper. (This can be words, images, colours or shapes, and the paper might be scented with your partner’s favourite perfume).

♥ Make your requests from the five categories of the Languages of Love:

♦ Touch (a neck massage, back massage, foot massage, hand massage, full body massage, or just a big hug!)

♦ Quality Time (all tools down and just be there for each other for a while to talk, share, or gaze into each other’s eyes).

♦ Acts of Service (a house hold chore, a small repair, clean the car, mow the lawn etc.)

♦ Gifts (Flowers, chocolates, a guardian angel, new clothes, ornaments and such)

♦ Words of Affirmation (Tell your partner just what it is about them that you see, or experience, that you love and appreciate in a meaningful way).

♥ Each partner then places their request for caring action in their decorated jar, and then you each create another, and another.

♥ Now both partners make a commitment to go to their partner’s decorated glass jar each day and draw out a caring action request from the jar.

♥ If this caring action is within your ability to carry out, given time and materials being available, then DO IT! 

If this request is too big an ask at this time, then put it back for later, keep it in mind, and draw another until you find one you are happy to do.

When you have completed a request for a caring action, put it back for later, you can always do it again!

For the caring action recipient, give loving praise to your partner for carrying out your care request so that they will feel appreciated and encouraged to carry out more requests for you.